This morning, I woke up with a feeling of foreboding anxiety, and well....FEAR. I thought to myself: is it money? Nope. I'm not worried about money. My relationship? Nope. Not worried about that. I was literally worried and fearful for no reason. I had just woken up. I shouldn't really be feeling anything too strongly as nothing had even happened in my day yet. My body has actually been programmed to go into fear mode when there's no other strong emotion filling that void at any given moment.
Fear is a response that is suppose to keep us safe. Back in our caveman days, fear helped us avoid danger, and protect us, and keep our species from going extinct, as it does for every other species. However, fear has become it's own energy. Fear has become our default response to everyday life. It no longer keeps us safe, but actually puts us in danger as it clouds judgement and creates a physiological response of high blood pressure, anxiety, depression (which can lead to suicide), high stress, and more. Fear once kept us safe. Now, it is effectively eliminating us. Fear is killing us. Fear is all we know. It helped us evolve and move forward, but now fear is holding us back from progression and evolution. We need to embrace what comes next, rather than live in fear of it.
When I had figured out that I was fearful for nothing, I filled the gaping void with gratitude. I wrote down a huge list of things I was grateful for and started practicing positive self talk. In my last blog post, I talked about repairing the cracks in my foundation with self-assurance and self trust. So why am I afraid? I have all this power that I've taken back. So is this fear of nothing connected to those same cracks in my foundation? Or is it just where my comfort zone is? Have I really been living my life being comfortable with always being afraid? Afraid to move forward, afraid of relying on myself, afraid of creating my own life that doesn't require me to be unhappy. Fear has been my default response. Don't get me wrong, if someone said right now "we need to talk" without telling me the reason, I would still keel over and try not to vomit. It may take years for me to heal that response to uncertainties and the unknown. But it all begins with positive self talk and trusting myself. Working with my life coach Tess Adams and soon to be seeing a mental health professional are 2 ways I expect to see a big change in myself and the fear I experience as a default response to not having an emotion at that moment or not knowing what to feel. Fear has become it's own being, and has been effectively running and ruining my life. It has taken so much joy, and kept me from joy that I could have experienced. The very large and dark cloud that kept me in constant survival mode is beginning to subside. I trust myself. There's no reason to be afraid anymore. I can handle everything thrown my way, and unknowns will make themselves known and I can't control uncertainties. This is just the beginning of my journey and I am not going to live in fear of living life and creating my own happiness.
So when you have fear, what is it about? Or do you know? If you do know, do you really need to be in fear? If you don't know, replace those thoughts of fear with feelings of gratitude and thoughts about trusting yourself. Make a list of gratitude until the fear subsides. Most of us have been programmed for fear. Fear is what has kept us going, but now it hinders us and holds us back. Are you ready to break free of that? Get rid of that sense of foreboding and replace it with gratitude and things that bring you joy. Replace fear with self-assurance and thoughts of self-trust. You can do this! You can handle anything! Trust yourself. The rest will fall into place.
Annie-M
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