So let me ask you this: What are your limits? What are the standards that you have set for your self as to how people treat you? How much are you willing to tolerate from shitty friends before you cut em loose?!
When you're there for someone every time they need to be lifted up, empowered, told they deserve better, and are going through a tough time, how many times will you put up with them bailing on you in your darkest moment before you just start waiting for the next time so you can easily justify cutting them off?
How many times are they going to refuse to pay you back before you decide you don't need them in your life because they will always find a way to justify ripping you off?
How many times will they display jealousy and insecurity about your happiness and success before it just gets really depressing and you just get fed up with their lowly bullshit?
Whatever your answers are to these questions, I have a story for you. When this happened, I finally realized the strength I have, and the power I have. "Losing" a shitty friend isn't really a loss, just like I said how "losing" a shitty job isn't really a loss. Same concept applies.
I had this friend that I've known for about 5 years. She's had some pretty rough times with relationships, self-worth and family issues. Every time she was going through a break up, or was having issues with her self-esteem, I was right there. I tried to lift her up, tell her she deserves better, tell her she's worth so much more than her most recent boyfriend was capable of offering. I recognized her worth and her strength and power when she didn't and I never hesitated to try and lift her up when she needed it.
Fast forward to just over a year ago when I broke up with my long time boyfriend of 4 years. The day of or the day after, we were suppose to meet up for ice cream and get our nails done to talk and because I didn't wanna be alone. I was hurting. It was the only time I had ever asked her for anything. I arrived at the mall to meet her for 5pm like we agreed. At 5:30, she messaged me to let me know she hadn't even left the house and she would just rather get things done at home. She didn't try to reschedule or raincheck or even call to make sure I was okay or offer so much as an apology. I didn't hear from her for another 4 months. I let it go. I was really hurt but I let it go and got my nails done on my own.
A bunch of other times since then, she has bailed on me at the very last minute or even after we were suppose to meet. Again, I let it go. Most recently, my spouse and I invited her to New York City to join us on our adventures. We asked her way back in December (The trip was taking place in March). She was all for it. We asked her if it was okay if we booked the hotel for the 3 of us, and she said that would be okay. So we booked the hotel room for 3 people. The bill came to 1400. She booked her own flight but was flying out in the afternoon so she wasn't on the same flight as us. The day before the trip, she started saying that she was having anxiety and didn't think she would make it. That's fine. But then she decided to come but her flight got cancelled but the airline was willing to put her on the next flight so she could still come. She decided that was too inconvenient so she didn't come. At the end of the trip, I messaged her about her portion of the hotel cost, and she felt completely justified in not pitching in at all even though she said she would. We booked a room for 3 people because we trusted her to pay us back. She ripped us off and felt completely justified in doing so. So not only did she bail AGAIN at the very last second, she also indirectly stole from us.
I didn't argue with her about it, though I was very hurt and disappointed that my trust and that of Mark's had been violated, but i just told her she still had the option to come on the next flight. I just said "That's okay but it's not something I'll ever forget". I blocked and deleted her. I was just done and I have never felt stronger. It's okay to cut em loose and not feel guilty. If you have given yourself to someone every time they needed you, eventually you will become drained if they never give back. I have been on both ends of that. Maybe she's just not capable of loving others the way they love her. Some people aren't. But that's not your problem. So if you don't feel that your friendship is being reciprocated time and time again, get rid of them. They will only drag you down and become dead weight in your life. Things like this make me feel 1000x more grateful for the people in my life and the wonderful opportunities I've had. It cost me 450$ to get her out of my life. People like that? It's a price I'm willing to pay, and it gave me amazing fuel for the current chapter in my book!
Set standards that you want to see or others will be doing it for you.
So let me ask you again, how much are you willing to tolerate?
Annie-M
YOU ARE FABULOUS!
XOXO
We had an amazing time in NYC!
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