Why We Hang on to Anger

    Anger goes beyond forgiveness. We can forgive until we are blue in the face but more often than not, anger remains. While anger is a healthy emotion and a normal coping mechanism, if left unchecked, it can become toxic...seeping into every area of your life. 

Anger is a secondary emotion to hurt. Hurt often caused by lack of closure. "Why didn't they love me?"  "Why did they hurt me?" You will ask yourself this same question over and over. Perhaps the answer is that they simply couldn't love you. And that has nothing to do with you. 

We hang on to anger because it's comfortable. We feel like they will get away with everything if we let it go and move forward. We are afraid of what life might look like if we didn't have our anger because it's been our only constant. 

And maybe that's the case. They get away with it, having learned absolutely nothing and seeing nothing wrong with what they did. But what does hanging on to anger really get us? It's the thing that helped us survive and cope with pain...but eventually, it starts to hinder us. It holds us back from the beautiful future we could have. 

I'm sure you've heard this phrase before, but: "Holding on to anger is like poisoning ourselves and expecting the other to die." Nothing is more true. Anger was there for us when we needed it. It got us through the worst of it, but it's time for a new emotion. Is hope an emotion? Hope for a better future, with people who know how to love you properly. 

   Instead of continuing to speculate on the whys and hows of who and what caused our pain, maybe we could speculate more about what our lives would look like if we released those people into our past where they belong, and should stay. 

   There's a few words I can think of to describe my life free of those who so frivolously played with my open heart:

Freedom

Lighter

Emotional liberation

Success

A future with people who are meant for me

Emotional availability (When we hang on to anger towards people, it leaves us unavailable for people who can and will love us properly)

It's time for a different emotion. It's time to give your inner child peace. It's time to not only forgive, but to bring peace into our lives for ourselves and the amazing people waiting to meet us <3

Much love, xo