This is a hard one to write, because it reminds me that forever and a day, I've failed over and over again to see my value. And I've been trying to prove it to others for a lifetime. Maybe if they see how good I look now, maybe once they see I ride a motorcycle, or I have a good paying job. The truth is, they will NEVER see your worth any more than you do.
And even when you begin to see your value, they still won't see the amazing, beautiful, and strong person you are. You've been through it sis, and no one from your past that treated you some kinda way is going to see what it took to get to where you are. I play over and over in my head, different scenarios where I run into people in the grocery store, on the street, at work, where maybe they'll see me, talk to me, and suddenly see what they're missing, see what they could have had, suddenly regret treating me the way they did.
Truth is, it's just another Tuesday for them. And it's another moment wasted wondering if they finally see it. If they see you. Nope. They're not even thinking about it. And quite frankly, you shouldn't be either.
We are told that thinking about ourselves is selfish, and we are raised with the oxymoron of "don't let people get to you", but on the same side of that coin, being told what people think of you matters. And this is where we start failing to see our worth. We put stock in what people think, so we start defining our self-worth by that too. It's time to put an end to this bullshit line of thinking. Start thinking about YOU, and what you think of YOU!
The best and easiest way to do this is to think of yourself as 2 different people. Imagine the other you as a different person and actually caring about what they think of the real you. That's who needs to see your worth. That's who needs to value you.
We put so much effort into defining our worth by how much others value us, that we literally forget about ourselves. We keep asking ourselves "Why won't they see my worth?" The truth is, it's not their fucking job. It's yours and it's time to own it. Let's stop making others responsible for how we feel about ourselves.
The funny thing is that when we start truly seeing our own worth, and valuing ourselves the way we want others to, people who also value you will start coming into your life. And this is why self love before trying to love someone else is so important. It's not about DESERVING love if you love yourself. It's about boundaries. It's about setting those expectations for yourself and others who intend to stay in your life. When you practice self love, you set stronger limits and boundaries, and you'll draw in people who respect them and who also have strong boundaries, while others will fade away.
It's time to start turning inwards for the answers as to why we struggle so hard with friendships, relationships, etc.
So the people you've been thinking about for years, the people you imagine running into at the grocery store, and the people who didn't see your worth then, will NEVER see your worth now. And if they appear to, it's superficial. You have always been worthy. You've always been extremely valuable. You've always been worth it. Even as the "ugly duckling" in high school. Even before you bought a car. Even when you were making minimum wage at a coffee shop. Even when you were dumped or ghosted.
You're worth it and you have value. Isn't it time you start seeing it?
Much Love, xo
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