They Aren't Your People, They Never Were...A Hard Lesson Learned

It's exciting, meeting new people to hang out with and laugh with. It's the greatest feeling when you're having a great time with your new peeps and they start saying "you fit right in with us!" This line has always started me thinking that I've met my people and finally I fit in somewhere. And then...they start posting pictures of the adventures they go on with the others, not even so much as throwing out an invite. Or you're going through 6 weeks of mental health hell, practically planning your own death, and it's crickets from their whole crowd. 

Personally, I'm tired of hearing the age old "people have their own lives". Yes. Okay. But when they call you a friend, that's suppose to mean something. Why do I have to be so understanding of other people all the fucking time, when they don't invite me anywhere or send me a casual message here and there when I'm having a shit time, but still have the fucking audacity to say "we're like a family"? It's not that I'm overthinking things, it's that they simply aren't my people. 

To me, being included and feeling like I belong somewhere doesn't feel like being left out and treated like an afterthought. When I'm truly friends with someone, I don't treat them this way because it's just shitty. 

Seeing people I thought were my friends ghost me, fall off the face of the Earth and then resurface with a new bestie who's getting tagged in everything and won't respond to my messages has been nothing short of devastating and hurtful and it's been happening since junior high. 

The truth is, most people who you thought were your friends aren't and never were.

The other side of this, is learning to move on without establishing the mindset that they're bad people, but one that they're just different. 

I'm an extrovert, I like to socialize, and I like going out and getting to know people and going on adventures. When I'm trying to be friends with people who don't ever invite me anywhere, and that never talk to me, and never agree to coming out, I have to realize that I'm trying to be friends with the wrong people. It doesn't mean that I'm anxiously attached or that I'm being too needy. It simply means, I have yet to meet the people meant for me :)

When you meet the right people that you're meant to have in your life as close friends, you won't feel rejected, or left out, or like you're always saying and doing the wrong things. And you won't feel like you need to prove yourself to fit in or be welcomed. They accept you all through your highs and lows, and are there for them too, even with a brief message to say hello once in awhile. 

By learning this lesson, it's easier to let it go. Your people will come and fitting in or a sense of belonging will come oh so naturally. 

Much Love,

Annie

xo